Oh The Joys of being A Parent

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Mum
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, Often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!!!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

TEAM Hydrocephalus

On Saturday was the TEAM Hydrocephalus 2007 awareness walk at Sugar House Park. My parents came and walked with me and Tyler rode his bike with Caleb in the trailer. Holden was half walking half riding his bike and complaining the whole way. It was a fun morning, we did the walk, returned and ate bagels and listened to a band and Holden made crafts. As of Friday night they had over $17,000 in donations, so I don't know what the total ended up being. Thanks again for everyones support, we hope that it will be bigger and better next year!!

Merit Badges for Mothers

I found this link on my friend Jenny's blog about mommy merit badges. I think that I have also earned many if not all of them. Check it out...

Mommy Merit Badges

A Trip To The Zoo

Calebs little class goes out into the community twice a month, and today they went to the zoo. A lot of the parents came to help out with all the kids. Caleb was actually really good and patient. They decided to try and get all the kids pictures on the elephant, Caleb decided to use it as a lounge chair. It was a lot fun spending time with all those special kids.

We All Survived!!!

We all made it back safe and sound from Lotoja. It was a very tiring but fun weekend. The guys had a start time of 6:36 a.m. so we had to get up at 4:30 to be ready to go and pack up the car and get on the road to meet them at the first feed zone. At the second feed zone, Tyler was once again alone, the same time as last year. But this year he only stayed about 10 minutes ahead of them, so it made it easier to keep track on him. They all did well, but at one point of the course there was a really strong headwind which really wore them out. They all came in individually, but still pretty close. Seth wore out at one point, but got a second wind and made it across the finish line on his bike this time, instead of carrying his broken bike like last year. So we were all excited they made it through safe and sound with no bike mechanical problems for 206 miles, which is no small feat. They are already making plans for next year....

Off we go...

Well folks off we go again to the Lotoja bike race from Logan to Jackson Hole, 206 miles in one day. So us 4 significant others will be their support team again and feed them 4 times. They hope to get done in 10 hours, so that is what we will hope for. My parents have so graciously agreed to watch both boys all weekend, which makes it a lot easier for us to go. I will post pictures when we return, I hope to get more pictures this year than last year. The Lotoja officials have set it up so that we will get updates on our cell phones to let us know when they are 5 miles out from the feed zone. Which will hopefully help us keep better track of them this year, since we lost Tyler last year and didn't know where he was. So hope you all have a great weekend and wish us luck!!!!

Thank You!!!

I just wanted to thank you all for your GENEROUS donations for the Hydrocephalus Walk that I will be walking, or rather gimping along in on Sat. Sept. 22nd. We far surpassed our goal of $500 and that is all because of everyones generousity on behalf of Caleb. Thank you!!!!!

There is still time to donate if anyone else would like to.
http://www.active.com/donate/TeamSLCUT2007/calebkirk


Your Smile
By Janet Gresham

My child,

Your smile tightens our heartstrings,
pulling our love into a great big bow.
Your smile streams like sunshine through trees,
sprinkling laughter in the shade.

Your mind may never ponder metaphors.
Your eyes may never follow clouds.
Your feet may never scamper barefoot.
Your fingers may never pen a letter.
Your voice may never say "I love you."

Yet, my child,

You are granted power to teach patience,
hope,
joy,
grace,
sacrifice,
unabridged love.

To those who pause their world
long enough to know you,
you give yourself and smile.